Retired Teachers Jokes

Do you know a teacher who is retired or will be retiring soon? You can send them off with some laughs with a few great retired teacher jokes. These can lighten the situation and let them know that you care about them. They are especially useful, perhaps even crucial, for any speeches or presentations that might be made at a retirement party. You probably won't be able to come up with these on the spot, so you will definitely want to be ready with several prepared jokes.

Starting off a speech with retired teacher jokes can't go wrong. Here is a good one to try out -

Three elderly math teachers, Mark, Alex, and Robert, go to a doctor's office for their yearly memory test. It's a miracle they remembered the appointment! The doctor begins with Mark. He asks him, “What is five times five?” Mark replies “191.” The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling. He then says to Alex, “What is five times five?” Alex replies “Wednesday.” The doctor shakes his sadly and turns toward the last man. He asks Robert, “What is five times five?” Robert answers, “twenty five.” “That's right!” says the doctor. “And how did you come up with your answer?” “Easy,” says Robert, “just subtract 191 from Wednesday.”

Some retired teacher jokes, such as the following one, will set a different tone to the party, to say the least. Here it is –

A teacher was retiring after 30 years of teaching. Her elementary school class decided to throw her a retirement party, and they all brought gifts for her. A little boy who's father owned a fine chocolate shop brought her a box of delicious chocolate delicacies. A little girl who was the daughter of a florist brought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Another little girl who's parents ran a top-shelf liquor shop then brought her a large box. It had some juices leaking out of the corner. The teacher told the girl, “I bet I know what this is!” She tasted some of the liquid leaking from the box and said “I bet this is some wine!” The girl said “Nope.” She tasted it again and said “Liquor?” The little girl said “Nope!” She tasted it one more time and said “It's beer, isn't it?” The little girl said “Wrong again!” The teacher was almost frustrated. She said, “Well, I give up, what is it?” The little girl said, “A puppy!”

If you need some more retired teacher jokes for a retirement party or just for conversation and the fun of it, the internet is a great place to find jokes for free without having to buy a book. has a large selection of thousands of jokes in hundreds of different categories. You will also find some great retired teacher jokes at These sites, along with, will let you search for the perfect jokes for your retirement speech. A retiring person deserves respect as well as humor – remember this as you pick your jokes, but don't forget that it's also a celebration!

Photo Credit: Anoka County Library

Meet new friends and learn from other people on
comments powered by Disqus